Studying

My Anatomy book lies open and ignored in my old bedroom, waiting for me to finally come to my senses and start studying.

Random Thoughts of a Would-be Second Year

I found out that a friend of mine from 2nd year failed. So we'll be classmates this year.

I feel really bad for her. And at the same time, I am shocked. She's one of the good students. I see her studying in the library with her boyfriend (who also happens to be uber smart). She's part of the council. It's just pretty much unbelievable.

Our grades are out.

I'm confident about my status (yes, I'll be in second year next school year for sure) but I have qualms regarding my general average. Will I still get my scholarship???

In a way, I'm excited.

Who will my new classmates be? For sure, a few will remain in first year. (I hope all of my friends pass.) And of course, there will be second years who didn't make it. This will be interesting.

I'm wondering about a friend (..sort of friend..). Will he finally make it? Although it would be fun to have him for a classmate, I'd much rather see him in 3rd year. And well, yeah. There's a big chance we'll be classmates in 3rd year anyway. (Hmm... I'm being mean.)

So... all in all, I hope it will be a great year.

.xoxo.

One Month To Go

The knowledge that the more I know, the more I do not know, is humbling. But, that's not supposed to stop me, right?

One month has passed since the end of first year. And while I have managed to stay somewhere along the top of the class (2nd? 3rd?), and have somehow managed to do well in my exams (.. psychic power?..), the fact of my ignorance is glaring at me in the face.

Eek. I know hardly anything.

Seriously.

With one month to go till second year, I have to somehow get over my natural tendency towards procrastination and find a way to get myself motivated.

Ugh. Now what?

On top and falling...

I topped Block 5 in our batch. It was a bit of a shock and it took me a few minutes to get over it. Okay. So I did keep on secretly wishing to top and I did think I had a fighting chance to make it on top.

After floating in the third spot for two consecutive blocks before diving to the fifth spot on the last block, being on top feels... good.

But the thing is, I knew it was only grace which sustained me. I did really well on the Lab Practical Exam, which was the only thing which kept bringing me down. For the life of me, I have a hard time identifying histological structures. The real thing is so far-off from the pictures in the books (and I'm more often too lazy to review the slides when we're given time).

So anyway, I made it on top and although it feels good, it also feels awkward.

To be continued...

(PS. My sister is bugging me. She wants to eat dinner now.)

No Comment

For some reason, I wrote something in the comment section of the module evaluation sheet. Big mistake.

I really did find the Task Sheet 1 a little confusing. But that's not the point.

The head of the Education Unit wanted to find out what I thought was wrong with the Task Sheet. She doesn't really know it's me who wrote that comment. At least not yet.

I hope they're really as open-minded as they want us to believe. I don't want unwanted spotlight over a little thing as a comment.

History Taking

I took up nursing for my pre-med course. This means I've been in and out of various hospitals for the longest time. I've made a gazillion patient histories. I've done (more or less) physical exams. I've assisted in operating rooms and delivery rooms.

So the fact that, as a first year medical student, I still feel twinges of anxiety at entering a hospital and interviewing a patient is vaguely disconcerting. Interviewing. That's it. That's all we do.

But after the initial anxiety, after stepping into the ward, I find myself in my element and breeze through the history taking. It must be because of the years of experience. It all comes back and everything just flows smoothly and naturally.

Now the only thing I have to do is to learn how to write a comprehensive, grammatically correct and impressive history in a limited amount of time.

Nothing New

First year is not the most exciting phase of a medical student's life. It's the time of boring drudgery as can be seen from the fact that I've exhausted the topic on failing exams and getting frustrated about it and trying to be better one more time only to commit the same mistake the next time around.

But then, in just a few months time, I'll actually find myself in second year. And that has got to be more exciting than first year. There'll be more quizzes to fail, for one. And I'll get the chance to actually touch real live patients!

But before I get there, I have to get through tomorrow's module quiz, which I'm bound to either fail or barely pass.

The only thing remotely exciting in my monotonous existence is the fact that our research is under the watchful eye of the big wigs. We might actually get some amazing results which could revolutionize the world! (Hmmm... who am I kidding?)

So back to studying. I was actually just procrastinating.

.xoxo.