A Med School One-Sided Love Story

She stayed up late that night, studying for a practical exam. And so she woke up 30 minutes too late, missed the schoolbus, and had to take the taxi, straining her already meager allowance and not predisposing her to a good mood.

But then the first person she saw as she stepped out of the taxi was him, arriving at the same time. And she breathed a silent prayer of thanks. He took off his basketball cap exposing his rumpled black hair, saw her, and smiled. She smiled back and they fell in step.

He looked like he hadn't slept at all, which must have been the case. He was one year ahead of her and they were having their Final Exams that day.

They talked as they walked. Small things. Insignificant things. But to her, it didn't matter. All that mattered was they were talking. And as they passed by the chapel, she invited him in, just for a few minutes. She said her morning prayers and prayed for the young man praying at the other end of the pew.

They climbed five flight of stairs, still talking about insignificant things.

In her head, she was thinking. She was thinking of how much she liked him... this young man, who at heart was still very much a boy, uncorrupted by the worldliness around him. She loved his sunny disposition and kind nature... his always trying to do better... his quirks... his laughter... She remembered how her heart ached at seeing him sad and how he didn't notice the little things she did for him... Was that only two weeks ago?

In a way, she was glad she didn't feel that way anymore. It made life less complicated.

But as they parted ways by the vending machine, she to get her breakfast and he to take his test, she could not help wishing, that he'd one day realize they could be perfect for each other.

Reflections

I have nothing to write about, really. I just wanted to say that I love the stark simplicity of this blog.

By the way, I am uncovering the earliest blog entries of one of my favorite female surgeon blogger. She started in second year, med school. Which is more or less where I am right now.

I've been losing interest in this blog. When I started, I had these great hopes of writing really good entries and stuff like that. Now I'm thinking that this blog won't really amount to much.

However, the thing is, I realized that I have lost touch to the core reason why I started this anyway. It's not to wow people with my med school adventures (which doesn't amount to much, in the first place). It's more of a gift of myself to myself... a record of the person I was and the person I'm turning out to be.

This obscure blog is mine. And those who find themselves here are free to glimpse through my life.

But as I said, this is mine. And one day, I'll read through these entries and look at the person I was and smile... Smile at my victories... smile at my tragedies... smile at my adventures and misadventures...

And in the end, pass this on to my children (and the rest of my progeny)... A gift of myself to the future generation.

:)

Studying

My Anatomy book lies open and ignored in my old bedroom, waiting for me to finally come to my senses and start studying.

Random Thoughts of a Would-be Second Year

I found out that a friend of mine from 2nd year failed. So we'll be classmates this year.

I feel really bad for her. And at the same time, I am shocked. She's one of the good students. I see her studying in the library with her boyfriend (who also happens to be uber smart). She's part of the council. It's just pretty much unbelievable.

Our grades are out.

I'm confident about my status (yes, I'll be in second year next school year for sure) but I have qualms regarding my general average. Will I still get my scholarship???

In a way, I'm excited.

Who will my new classmates be? For sure, a few will remain in first year. (I hope all of my friends pass.) And of course, there will be second years who didn't make it. This will be interesting.

I'm wondering about a friend (..sort of friend..). Will he finally make it? Although it would be fun to have him for a classmate, I'd much rather see him in 3rd year. And well, yeah. There's a big chance we'll be classmates in 3rd year anyway. (Hmm... I'm being mean.)

So... all in all, I hope it will be a great year.

.xoxo.

One Month To Go

The knowledge that the more I know, the more I do not know, is humbling. But, that's not supposed to stop me, right?

One month has passed since the end of first year. And while I have managed to stay somewhere along the top of the class (2nd? 3rd?), and have somehow managed to do well in my exams (.. psychic power?..), the fact of my ignorance is glaring at me in the face.

Eek. I know hardly anything.

Seriously.

With one month to go till second year, I have to somehow get over my natural tendency towards procrastination and find a way to get myself motivated.

Ugh. Now what?

On top and falling...

I topped Block 5 in our batch. It was a bit of a shock and it took me a few minutes to get over it. Okay. So I did keep on secretly wishing to top and I did think I had a fighting chance to make it on top.

After floating in the third spot for two consecutive blocks before diving to the fifth spot on the last block, being on top feels... good.

But the thing is, I knew it was only grace which sustained me. I did really well on the Lab Practical Exam, which was the only thing which kept bringing me down. For the life of me, I have a hard time identifying histological structures. The real thing is so far-off from the pictures in the books (and I'm more often too lazy to review the slides when we're given time).

So anyway, I made it on top and although it feels good, it also feels awkward.

To be continued...

(PS. My sister is bugging me. She wants to eat dinner now.)

No Comment

For some reason, I wrote something in the comment section of the module evaluation sheet. Big mistake.

I really did find the Task Sheet 1 a little confusing. But that's not the point.

The head of the Education Unit wanted to find out what I thought was wrong with the Task Sheet. She doesn't really know it's me who wrote that comment. At least not yet.

I hope they're really as open-minded as they want us to believe. I don't want unwanted spotlight over a little thing as a comment.